1) Get her a massage.
A lot of pregnant woman think massage is not safe in pregnancy. This is a shame, because in the hands of a properly trained massage therapist, not only is it safe, it’s amazing. Pregnancy stresses the body in all kinds of ways and a massage is a lovely way to give some love back to those hardworking muscles, ligaments and joints. Then there's the special cushions and pillows that mean even the largest bump-carrying woman can finally get comfortable. And massage isn’t just about muscles. An hour of soothing, nurturing touch can restore the pregnant woman's soul as well as her back.
If you're in Edinburgh, the massages at KnotStressed are pretty amazing. They also do massages for non-pregnant people.
A lot of pregnant woman think massage is not safe in pregnancy. This is a shame, because in the hands of a properly trained massage therapist, not only is it safe, it’s amazing. Pregnancy stresses the body in all kinds of ways and a massage is a lovely way to give some love back to those hardworking muscles, ligaments and joints. Then there's the special cushions and pillows that mean even the largest bump-carrying woman can finally get comfortable. And massage isn’t just about muscles. An hour of soothing, nurturing touch can restore the pregnant woman's soul as well as her back.
If you're in Edinburgh, the massages at KnotStressed are pretty amazing. They also do massages for non-pregnant people.
2) Make it OK not to feel OK.
Most people have heard about postnatal depression but pregnancy itself can be tough. From changing body shapes to unsupportive partners, there are plenty of things that a pregnant woman might struggle with. But it can be really hard to talk about, especially because people tend to assume pregnancy is just a wonderful time all round. Organisations like PANDAs exist to provide support to anyone feeling depressed, whether it’s during or after pregnancy.
Most people have heard about postnatal depression but pregnancy itself can be tough. From changing body shapes to unsupportive partners, there are plenty of things that a pregnant woman might struggle with. But it can be really hard to talk about, especially because people tend to assume pregnancy is just a wonderful time all round. Organisations like PANDAs exist to provide support to anyone feeling depressed, whether it’s during or after pregnancy.
3) Remember you don't know more about her pregnancy than she does.
I don’t know why it is, but people often assume they know how a pregnant woman feels. Telling her to sit down, saying that she must be feeling better now she’s in the second trimester, making big scary eyes at the mention of The Birth… It’s well-meaning, but it closes down the conversation about her experience, which may be completely different to the experiences of you, your best friend, your sister, your colleague and your other best friend. Forget what you think you know about pregnancy. You don’t know anything about this pregnancy, for this woman, in this moment. So ask. And then listen.
I don’t know why it is, but people often assume they know how a pregnant woman feels. Telling her to sit down, saying that she must be feeling better now she’s in the second trimester, making big scary eyes at the mention of The Birth… It’s well-meaning, but it closes down the conversation about her experience, which may be completely different to the experiences of you, your best friend, your sister, your colleague and your other best friend. Forget what you think you know about pregnancy. You don’t know anything about this pregnancy, for this woman, in this moment. So ask. And then listen.
4) Put some positivity into her world.
The average pregnant woman is exposed to approximately 19 million stories each day* about births involving forceps, blood, ripping, screaming and terrible, indescribable pain. She is exposed to approximately zero stories about calm, peaceful births which leave the woman feeling strong and empowered. But those stories and those births do exist, and the more we talk about them, the more we help pregnant women face childbirth with courage and positivity. The Positive Birth Movement is a good place to start. Over on Facebook, Milli Hill writes beautiful articles about woman-friendly birth and pregnancy.
* rough estimation only.
The average pregnant woman is exposed to approximately 19 million stories each day* about births involving forceps, blood, ripping, screaming and terrible, indescribable pain. She is exposed to approximately zero stories about calm, peaceful births which leave the woman feeling strong and empowered. But those stories and those births do exist, and the more we talk about them, the more we help pregnant women face childbirth with courage and positivity. The Positive Birth Movement is a good place to start. Over on Facebook, Milli Hill writes beautiful articles about woman-friendly birth and pregnancy.
* rough estimation only.
5) Buy her some wonderwoman pants.
Just do it.
Just do it.